COMMENT FROM A READER: "I love the start of chapter 8. ‘The good news is we’ve located the source of all your problems. The bad news: it’s you.’ Yep!
I am enjoying reading this book ‘Be Happy, Stupid.’ I find it a whimsical approach to our negative thinking making it easy to lighten up about ourselves. Not a unique subject but told from the authors experiences makes this a compelling read I can relate to. It has a plethora of useful gems that keeps me saying ‘that’s a good one’ or ‘oh I do that.’ We all wrangle with the same thought processes explained in this book and I have spent the majority of my adult life looking to understand this human experience. It has all led me to the same conclusion the author details, that to change your world you must change yourself. It is the truth many have studied but Evans’ unique boots-on-the-ground perspective is relatable, helpful, entertaining, could certainly change some lives or even save a few. Anything that helps in that regard is well worth the read."
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REVIEW BY READER:
"I read it cover to cover and I can assure you you hit the nail on the head in many of these personal battles of yours that you put into words. This would be extremely helpful to anyone as a guide to how people can overcome what is in their lives. This book will be of great value to many people. Keep up the good work."
No matter what hand you are dealt in life, you can always bluff.
🎵 Smile, though your heart is baking 🎵
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A long time ago some farmers gathered on a dirt road to watch the King’s carriage pass by. Among them was the man known as The Village Idiot, because in those days they didn’t know about political correctness. He had a serious mental disorder which rendered him unable to communicate, but he was basically harmless, and people would give him scraps of food. The funny thing about him was he always had a huge grin on his face, and would often burst out laughing for no apparent reason. As the horses strutted by, pulling the jewel-encrusted carriage, the peasants stood at attention or bowed in devout silence. The only sound was clopping of hooves … and the idiot giggling. The monarch was greatly insulted and bellowed, “Arrest him at once!” Which they did. The King’s adviser said, “Your Majesty, he is but a poor simpleton, who knows not where he is, or what he does.” “Then he won’t mind the dungeon. Throw him in at once!” The guards dragged him away as he snickered, and chained him to a wall in a dark horrible cellar. All the prisoners were very miserable, except for the idiot, who to everyone’s annoyance, laughed his head off day and night. Be that idiot. *** “Some lives are short. Some are long. Some are healthy. Some are sick. A person in a wheelchair can accomplish as much as anyone else. All hearts can hold the same amount of joy.” *** “You were so busy doing stuff, you didn’t realize you weren’t even in control.” *** Peter Okonkwo rated it really liked it BE HAPPY, STUPID! I find this book extremely interesting. It teaches how humans can manage and overcome some unfavorable situations including thoughts that control their minds. The language used in the book is quite easy to understand, the book contains thoughtful advice to scale through life and to realize the abode of joy irrespective of whatsoever betides us. I find some portions of the book extremely humorous. I also wrote some quotes which I’m going to imbibe in my life. The book is critically vast into matters that concern humanity and life generally. It is somewhat motivational and has the strength to uplift a soul that is dead to hope. I kept nodding my head to the reality communicated therein at intervals. It has a conversational, sarcastic, realistic, and at the same time funny tone. It’s a pleasurable read. TABLE OF CONTENTS Chapter 1: Flip the Switch 6 Chapter 2: Everything is Okay 21 Chapter 3: Be Clear 40 Chapter 4: Simplify 48 Chapter 5: Just Start 61 Chapter 6: Be Scientific 71 Chapter 7: Program Yourself 82 Chapter 8: Stop Beating Yourself Up 92 Chapter 9: You Have Nothing to Worry About 102 Chapter 10: Get Help 113 Chapter 11: Dealing with Jerks 121 Chapter 12: The Magic Wands 135 Chapter 13: The Joy of Sorting 142 Chapter 14: Don’t Take Two Aspirin, and Don’t Call Me in the Morning 157 Chapter 15: Eat Me 166 Chapter 16: Are You Crazy? 175 Chapter 17: Don’t Even Think About It 184 Chapter 18: Multiplicity 191 START READING THIS BOOK RIGHT NOW Chapter 1: Flip The Switch Some people are lucky. They don’t have to try and happiness falls into their laps. Screw them. This is for those who struggle. For whom happiness is a butterfly we chase. But I have good news my little ones. Our work is fun and easy. So stop making things difficult and be happy, silly. You probably never noticed this before, but in the back of your head is a small switch. When it’s in the up position, you’re happy, and when it’s down, you’re unhappy. So whenever you feel bad, just flick the switch. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Now, isn’t that better? Cute. But there isn’t really a switch. Yes there is. Okay, not on the oustide, but inside your mind is a switch that controls the angle from which you view the world. In one position, you see the positive side of everything. In the other, you see the negative of everything. Every situation has a good side and a bad side. Even the worst situations have a good side. And good is always better than bad. So always look at the good side. It’s always there. All you have to do is look for it. But you have to look. If you don’t look, you won’t see it, and you’ll miss out on all the prizes. Positive thoughts make you happy. Negative thoughts make you unhappy. When you choose positive, you feel better instantly, and you win, instantly. What other product can make that claim? When you see a fancy car, you can say, “What a nice car!” and feel good or you can say, “Mine is a piece of crap,” and feel bad. Positivity makes the world look brighter and foods taste better. And it’s not just perceived improvement. The facts of the situation actually become better. You make better decisions. Get better outcomes. People like you better. It’s like a railroad switch: just a small piece of metal, but it controls the flow of a train weighing millions of tons. All from a tiny shift in how you think. In all situations you are always better off thinking positive. Let’s say you find a notice on your door saying the landlord is going to inspect your apartment. Negative perspective: “This is an invasion of privacy. I won’t answer the door.” When he comes, you say something nasty, and now the relationship is strained. Eventually you have to move, because “the landlord is a jerk.” Positive perspective: “He’s just doing his job. He didn’t say anything was wrong.” You cooperate, and the inspection only takes a minute, and now the relationship is good. Positive: you win. Negative: you lose. The more painful a situation is, the more you gain by feeling good. Let’s take a worst case scenario: you’ve been diagnosed with a terminal disease. With a negative attitude your last days are a nightmare. With a positive attitude they are the most beautiful. It’s a choice. Not only is there an immediate benefit to flipping the switch, but the effect keeps growing over time. One positive thought leads to another, which lead to positive actions and results, which lead to even more. It keeps snowballing. It’s a delicious cycle. But when you choose negative, it snowballs in the bad direction. Everyone is an idiot. You make lousy choices. Life keeps getting worse, and you end up alone, penniless, drowning in a pool of your own feces. The positive road leads to heaven. The negative road leads to hell. Let’s say your computer is running slow. The more you pay attention to it, the more it irritates you. You wish you could afford a better one. Which reminds you how little your job pays. The more you bang on the keys, the more the screen freezes, and the angrier you get. You’re trapped in a dead-end career. Your life is a living hell, and you’re going to die in the gutter. Next thing you know, you’re yelling obscenities and smashing your laptop against the floor repeatedly, as the barista calls 911. But this catastrophe could have been prevented. As soon as you noticed yourself getting irritated, say, “Stop. I don’t like being irritated. I’m not going to get irritated. My peace of mind is more important than a stupid computer. Let it take as long as it takes. Maybe I’ll wait til the connection is better or buy a better phone.” Does everything suck? Is your job, love life, and diet all disasters? Do you run into bad luck wherever you go? Do you run into morons wherever you go? Beginning to see a pattern? What do all those situations have in common? You. Every time there was a problem, you were there. The problem is you. DON’T MAKE THIS FATAL MISTAKE! Don’t think, “Positive thinking is stupid. Everyone says that. It’s lame.” If you do, you’re choosing the negative, and throwing away all the benefits. If you believe it won’t work, then it won’t. You know what’s really lame? Being miserable. Everyone talks about positive thinking because it really works. If you believe it will work, it will. It changes nightmares into dreams. But it only works if you flip the switch. You have to do it yourself. No one can do it for you. If you pooh-pooh it. You’re only poopooing on yourself. When should you think negative? Never. Never not don’t think negative. Negative thinking can be a deeply ingrained habit, so familiar we don’t even realize we’re doing it. Change it. It took time to develop, and it will take time to change. With practice you’ll get better. Whenever a negative thought pops in your head, replace it with a positive. Where did all the negativity come from? It started out with good intentions. We trained ourselves to be tough. We taught ourselves, “no pain, no gain,” and “anything that sounds too good, must be a scam.” We developed an internal negative voice to protect us. But it grew too strong. That voice, Negative Nellie, talks too much. She’s too negative. Often the best answer is the most simple one. Sometimes something that seems too good to be true, really is true. Negative Nellie will say, “Positive thinking is for losers.” Stop listening to that witch. She’s the one who’s been ruining your life. FBI MOST WANTED NEGATIVE NELLIE FOR THE MURDER OF JOY Joy was a hell of a fun gal. But she’s not dead. She’ll recover as soon as we stop strangling her. Ideas will pop into our heads all the time. How you react to them is crucial. You make an idea stronger by thinking about it, believing it, or acting on it. You make an idea weaker if you disregard it, ignore it, and forget about it. You control what happens to it. Whenever a negative thought pops in your head, erase it. Whenever Negative Nellie leaves a message on your machine, hit the delete button. When she says, “This will never work,” answer her back, “I’m going to make it work.” But what about all the terrible things in life? Yea, they suck. But feeling bad doesn’t help. So what am I supposed to do, just smile like an idiot while the boss is reaming me? Boy, are you good at being negative. Realism has its place, but do you have to be such a dick about it? It’s almost as if you are actively working at being unhappy. Oh wait. That’s exactly what you’re doing. Imagine how happy you would be if you put your energy in the opposite direction. Even wars, suffering, and politicians have a bright side. When you see a big mansion on TV do you feel bad that you don’t have one? Why feel bad about something that is just a fantasy in your mind? Think of the good side: A mansion might seem impressive at first, but the thrill wears off (after 30 or 40 years.) The larger a house is, the more expensive it is to maintain, and the more work it is. And what good are a bunch of phony friends who only like you for your money? And how lonely is a house with 100 empty rooms? When that thought comes, say, “I’m grateful to have a roof over my head.” When you practice seeing the good, you’ll get so strong at it, that when someone tells you, “You look like a hooker,” you won’t take it as an insult to your character, but as a compliment to your appearance. Happiness is insideA long time ago some farmers gathered on a dirt road to watch the King’s carriage pass by. Among them was the man known as The Village Idiot, because in those days they didn’t know about political correctness. He had a serious mental disorder which rendered him unable to communicate, but he was basically harmless, and people would give him scraps of food. The funny thing about him was he always had a huge grin on his face, and would often burst out laughing for no apparent reason. As the horses strutted by, pulling the jewel-encrusted carriage, the peasants stood at attention or bowed in devout silence. The only sound was clopping of hooves … and the idiot giggling. The monarch was greatly insulted and bellowed, “Arrest him at once!” Which they did. The King’s adviser said, “Your Majesty, he is but a poor simpleton, who knows not where he is, or what he does.” “Then he won’t mind the dungeon. Throw him in at once!” The guards dragged him away as he snickered, and chained him to a wall in a dark horrible cellar. All the prisoners were very miserable, except for the idiot, who to everyone’s annoyance, laughed his head off day and night. Be that idiot. Be happy, even when everything is terrible. It doesn’t make any sense, but it feels better. Happiness is an electro-chemical process that happens inside your brain. It’s all in your head. Anything going on outside your skull is irrelevant. No matter how much life sucks you can be happy. Being happy is an actionIt must be great being so enlightened. I’m not enlightened at all. In fact, I was so consumed by negativity that my life was a living hell. I would literally wander the streets yelling obscenities. I had to find these techniques because I needed them so badly. I used to berate myself all day long: “I’m a worthless piece of garbage.” “I’m fat and disgusting.” “Nobody likes me.” I was spiraling down a bottomless pit of despair, and suffered terribly for years. But eventually I figured out that the source of all that negativity was me. Being happy is something you do. Not something that happens to you. You are not at the mercy of events. You make your own happiness. If something bad happens, you don’t have to feel bad. No situation, no possession, no person―NOTHING can ever make you happy. Well, that sucks. What about the laughter of innocent children? Lies. All lies! Not even this book can make you happy. What a rip-off! You make yourself happy, and you can do so any time you want. That’s really cosmic, but it’s total bull. Life is deathly serious, and I have a million compelling reasons to feel like crap. As long as you keep saying things like that, you will. Change what you tell yourself and you change your reality. It has to come from you. No one can do it for you. How you react to any situation is always your choice. Your car breaks down. You have to walk miles to the nearest gas station. Then it starts to rain. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, the sole of your shoe breaks and now it flaps with every pitiful step. You feel like God has it out for you. Then something amazing happens. The absurdity of it all hits you, and you just don’t care anymore, and you break out laughing. What happened? The circumstances didn’t change. What changed is how you looked at them. Control your mind and you control the world. Zen masters are so in control of their thoughts that if you set them on fire, they would sit there in lotus position, with a big smile on their face. I don’t claim to be at that level. If you set me on fire, I would scream and cry, and roll around in a humiliating display of cowardice. But I do practice controlling my thoughts, and it has successfully transformed me from a miserable bastard into a happy bastard. Yes, bad things happen, and you feel bad, but then you get over it. Did you just tell me to get over it? Yes! Does that sound harsh? Get over it. You can feel bad or you can feel good. Choose. Being happy is a choice. When something bad happens, you have the option of feeling good. Wait. You can do that? Yes! Choose to be happy. Don’t wait for it to come to you. Go ahead and be happy. Given the choice between being happy or being unhappy, which would you choose? Of course you choose happy. Happy is way better than unhappy. But you can’t just choose to be happy. Yes you can. Yet often we don’t. We’re so used to being miserable we do it by habit. You don’t need anythingHappiness is a feeling, not a thought. There’s nothing to figure out. It doesn’t follow the rules of logic. It’s not bound by the laws of physics. There’s nothing to explain. It requires no intelligence. It doesn’t have to make sense. If you can be depressed for no reason, you can be happy for no reason. If you don’t have a reason to be happy, make one up. You don’t need anyone’s permission, except your own. No one holds the keys to your happiness, except you. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You don’t have to work for it. You don’t have to earn it. You don’t have to deserve it. You can just go ahead and feel it, any time you want. Say to yourself, “I can be happy.” “I am happy.” If you catch yourself saying, “I can’t.” Answer back, “Yes I can. I can practice and get better.” If you say, “I can’t resist donuts.” Reply, “No. That’s what I used to do. Now, I’m learning to resist donuts.” When you go in a store, say, “I can enjoy looking. I don’t have to buy anything.” When an accidents happens, be glad you weren’t injured. When a disaster occurs, be grateful for the first responders. Whenever a negative thought pops in one ear, let it pop out the other. When you get fired, say, “This is just the motivation I needed to find a better job.” When someone dies from a horrible disease, say, “Good! His suffering is over. When life poops on you, say, “Hey, free manure!” Be happy nowWhen should you be happy? Whenever possible. “I have to lose weight, then I can be happy.” “I have to earn a degree, then I can be happy.” “I have to make a million dollars, then I can be happy.” No you don’t! You can be happy right now, with none of those things. There’s really only one time you can ever be happy: Now. The past doesn’t exist, and the future doesn’t exist. They are only illusions. The past is gone. Set in stone, and trapped in the amber of time for eternity. It cannot touch you in any way. It only affects you when you think about it. The future hasn’t happened yet. It might never happen. It only affects you if you think about it now. Let’s say you dropped out of high school, and you’ve regretted it ever since. Everywhere you go you are reminded of your deficiency, and it bothers you. Forget about it, and have a good time like you don’t have a care in the world. No one is going to ask you for proof of graduation. When you walk into a room no one knows you dropped out. And they don’t care. The only one it bothers is you, and only when you think about it. It might matter if you were applying for a job, but 99.99% of the time there is no reason to even think about it. The only function it is serving is making you feel bad. So drop it like a hot potato. And if anyone does judge you because of education, they’re being superficiality. Don’t take their foolishness seriously. If it really bothers you that much, take classes and earn your GED. No, I’m too old, I’d rather just complain. You regret not graduating, but given the chance, you turn it down. So basically you’re lying to yourself to make yourself feel bad. Is that what you want to do? The only time that exists is now. If you’re ever going to be happy, it’s going to have to be right now. END OF CHAPTER ONE PLEASE BUY “BE HAPPY, STUPID” ON AMAZON AND KINDLE AND DON’T FORGET TO LEAVE AN HONEST REVIEW ON AMAZON AND GOODREADS. THANK YOU! STYLISTIC OBSERVATIONS by editor: “I love the simple language. I love the direct sentences. Great, caring but sardonic style.” page 21: beautiful. genius. sublime. page 25: genius! I want this on the back cover! “You were so busy doing stuff, you didn’t realize you weren’t even in control.” page 30ish is when the repetitive one-liner start to become tiresome. I want to relax in a paragraph that develops an idea. Give me a story. page 33: it’s been list/point-form writing for a few pages. Glad to see it recognized as such. I hope there is more narrative or meatier paragraphs soon? page 38: The simplistic, repetitive positivity bores me. I want to stop reading. …. at the bottom of page 38, GIVE ME A PERSONAL Anecdote of when this mystical event happened for you, or some person (a saint, a tycoon, a fictional character). Question from person. Answer from universe. page 42: the “simplistic, repetitive positivity” is interrupting the simplistic, repetitive self-talk of the depressed reader–not the happy, and well reader. It has the potential to hypnotize the reader and set a beat … think of it in that way, perhaps? Or was that your intention? Variation is good but keep this beat. Eventually, this beat will become subconsciously heard/felt. Maybe around this part of the book. Not sure yet. Genius: Advertisers will say, “If you order in the next 10 minutes, it’s 10% off.” They’re trying to rush you. If you stop and think, it’s 100% off. page 66: PERSONAL ANECDOTE, Baby! More! More! Mmmm…. page 68: this rhymes, by the way: “Make it fun! You’ll get it done!” Princess Bride allusion! Yay! (page 74) Page 112: Yo, this book is best read when one is having a panic attack; line-after-line interrupts that negative nellie’s bitching and moaning. It is less a narrative than it is mental shock therapy…. the back-and-forth on page 113/114 is VERY pleasurable. page 115 is profound. page 134 has a section that is at least as good as any other section in your book for its musicality and rhythm: Some lives are short. Some are long. Some are healthy. Some are sick. A person in a wheelchair can accomplish as much as anyone else. All hearts can hold the same amount of joy. (< this is in iambic pentameter!) PAGE 145: so funny! this line needs to be in ALL CAPS! You mean you had wands this whole time and are just mentioning it now? -- BEAUTIFUL line on page 208: List the info you’d like to have. This gives it form, which leads to an answer. |
TESTIMONIAL Comments from a literary agent: "Your writing is accessible, brazen, and very funny. I enjoyed falling into your take on mental illness, happiness, anxiety, and the other particularly heavy issues you tackle throughout this work... I believe you have a great story and an exceptionally fresh way of telling it. "Comments from an editor: "I love the simple language. I love the direct sentences. Great, caring but sardonic style... page 21: beautiful. genius. sublime...page 25: genius! I want this on the back cover!--"You were so busy doing stuff, you didn't realize you weren't even in control."...page 115 is profound...page 134 has a section that is at least as good as any other section in your book for its musicality and rhythm:Some lives are short. Some are long. Some are healthy. Some are sick.A person in a wheelchair can accomplish as much as anyone else.All hearts can hold the same amount of joy. (< this is in iambic pentameter!)" |